I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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