google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
