he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
