Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
