I wanna passion pit in your ass
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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