It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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