the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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