Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
