so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
