sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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