the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
