I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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