he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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