I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
