RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
