tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
