I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
