I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
