GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Less talking, more tequila
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
