TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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