She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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