we're blogging at a bar
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
