Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
bring money and cleavage
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
