She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
