the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
