party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
