I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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