I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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