we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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