just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
