Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
