yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
