I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
