I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
