first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
