I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
