watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
