i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
