That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
