Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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