no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
