It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
