exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
