That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
