Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
