It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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