Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize