well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
