hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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