You really coming over, don't trick.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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