TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
