He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I got inside last night via doggy door
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
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